Surrounded yet alone


Yet another loss on the long road of Kabutroid.

What else is there to say about the matter? We had plenty of awesome times in the past, but grew apart over the years. Only recently did we both finally realize it, and decisions simply and unfortunately had to be made.

I'm used to loss at this point. Known more or less nothing BUT loss over the course of my life. Get born into a poor family in the middle of nowhere with no connections to anything, learn a ton of practical survival and general life skills in the country, and become an honest, hard working Jill of all trades. And what's that get you these days?

No specialization? Looks like its minimum wage for you. Grunt workers are a dime a dozen, thousands of us are laid off or die every day. Looks like I wasn't born at the right place at the right time, too bad, so sad. Must be my fault, right? I'm just not trying hard enough.

Y'see, there's the thing. I absolutely, unequivocally KNOW that I've been trying ridiculously fucking hard. Every job I've had, I threw my all into. Tech support, customs brokerage? I was GOOD, damnit! Anyone who's worked these places knows they evaluate your work and shit. I was ranking damn high up there. I'm honest with anything I do, I don't bullshit the important stuff, I work hard, and I don't complain. Does that get me promotions, and raises?

Nope, that gets me wage and position stagnation. I'm honest and good at my position? Well shit, keep her right the fuck where she is. Raises? Oh, you mean those things that were LITERALLY less than the cost of living increase for the province (I did the math)? No, those aren't raises... that's called wage stagnation, or worse... a slow decrease to my paycheques being capable of purchasing less and less.

Plumbing? Hows about that new trade I took up? Ah, the one I was laid off from. Can't blame them... work IS slow, since there's OBVIOUSLY a glut of workers and dearth of labour that's only getting worse. And of course, mustn't lay off the family members, let's hoof the new girl out first. Again, was I a hard worker? Absolutely! I worked for free well enough that they wanted to hire me on the spot, and spent a full month in a steel foundery without a SINGLE GODDAMN COMPLAINT, either from me regarding the work, or about the quality of my work. Does THAT show that I'm hard-working enough to get a raise, or any vague form of job security? Nope, gets me laid off, just like thousands upon thousands of others.

Hard work isn't appreciated nowadays, it's that simple. And it's all due to the broken economy. Smaller companies themselves are struggling to stay afloat, and can't afford to PAY employees more than the bare minimum, and the larger corporations have no concern for their employees to begin with, and simply pay them the bare minimum because they can.

And honest, hard-working people have only one place in todays society. To the economic machine, I am the perfect sheep. I do hard work, and I don't complain. At least not in-person, I get all this off my chest on Zebeth here, more or less. And when I'm physically DOING the work, I take joy in it.

That said... being a plumber is arguably the LAST thing I want to do with my life... which makes it a very good survival-skill, if I need to fall back on it in order to stay alive.

THAT said... what does one do when they are out of debt, have several thousand dollars in savings, and a desire to live as minimally as possible?

I'll tell you one thing for certain. It's not to shackle myself to a broken and collapsing economy by devoting my life to a company that doesn't care whether I live or die. And we all know our generation will never retire. If the system doesn't collapse, we will all work until we die.

But y'know what hurts the most? Any time I bring any employment-related qualms up, the only responses I get back basically boil down to "durr, you're just not trying hard enough". Well sorry, I wasn't born into a priviliged position, or happened to luck myself into the right place to get a well-paying job where I'm appreciated. All that I have received is companies that don't care whether I live or die, and replace or get rid of me at their earliest convenience. Until such time, they pay me a wage barely capable of sustaining life, and promote people based on office politics rather than work ethic or skill. But any of my real-life friends? They don't have those problems. They have rich parents, or massive safety nets of some sort or another, or for whatever reason happen to have a well-paying job. I have the last several thousand dollars of this poor woman's inheritance. And as much as they like or support me, like and support don't pay the rent or buy food. Besides, the only response to my complaints is that all of my troubles are entirely MY fault, what good does that do me?

Surrounded by friends that can do nothing but watch me starve. What can they do? The world runs on a broken money system, the only thing that could *possibly* help me is to just throw thousands of dollars at me so I can subsist. And at that point, they're simply purchasing my life, under the thought of "Oh, she's just too lazy to work", because nobody seems to understand that DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. To say, or even THINK as such is to reaffirm to yourself that the economic system, as it stands, is in perfect working condition.

Am I too lazy to work, or does the system not adequately reward hard work? It CAN'T. Not with the economy as inequal and broken as it is. Hard work is punished with more hard work, because you're being a good little sheep.

All that said, is there anyone who would appreciate a hard-working, honest Jill-of-all-trades? I DO actually enjoy hard work, and have a vast wealth of overall skills and knowledge, however I would only like to provide it to someone who will appreciate it as such, rather than see it as an expendable battery to be used until empty. Will exchange my skill and willingness to work for food and shelter. In all actuality, I need little more than a room or place to set up a tent. I could live without utilities if requried.

THAT said, I'm not speaking from a position of desperation... rather anticipation. As easily as I could move and offer my skills and labour to someone who is willing to teach me further and invest in my future, I could just as easily go backpacking across Canada. A genderfluid girl with a few thousand dollars and a well-designed camping kit could live off the grid for quite a long time. Or just stay put even... in all reality, if I allowed myself to go into debt, and otherwise cut out most extras in my life such as the car, and ate not much more than rice, potatoes, and low-priced vegetables, I could stay in one spot for years and years. If I found some rat's nest of a room for a few hundred a month? Oh, that could stretch for a loooong time... well longer than it'd take the economy to collapse. And of course, the tent is always an option.

A person with anything possible, and obligations to noone. I like how free that sounds. Gives me options.

And of course, I'll document my adventures on Zebeth :)

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Whelp, yet another development in the wonderful world of Kabutroid. So, I'm getting divorced. Yep, another one of them sob-story strips, sorry. Posting about it helps get it off my chest, so... let's get to it.
All things considered, it's about as fair and mutual as it can get. We grew apart over the years. She still wants kids, I never wanted 'em. Decided to get a vasectomy, and that was that.
At some point, I had to make a final decision as to whether I wanted kids or not. She respects my decision, I respect hers. Like I said, we kinda grew apart, so we're basically roommates now.
So... we have an honest, hard-working, debt-free Kabutroid, with little reason to live in one place forever. If one sees nothing but a lifetime of layoffs and servitude in poverty to a broken, collapsing system in front of them, then what?





Basically everything was designed by Nintendo, who I'm hoping still let me keep doing my thing. It's a parody. And free. Did I mention they're awesome too?
Comics, ideas, etc, etc owned by me, blah, blah, legal crap. Look, just don't be a jerk, and it's all good. I'm pretty easygoing, and really don't care all that much... just don't go impersonating me and we're cool.